Shred THIS, Jillian Michaels

The Challenge: a pound for pound smackdown

The Goal: Awesomeness in Lady Form

The Prize: um, we haven't decided yet...

You see (and I'm speaking to the proverbial "you", as I doubt anyone but FunnyNurse will actually be reading this), FN and I have been partners in crime since the good ol' days - you name it, we've probably done it together, and we've done it with style. Oh, yes. Tact, not so much. But definitely plenty of style.

Now we've teamed up to bring that style to a whole new ballgame: turning our lady lumps into lovely bumps. Wait...that makes it sound like we're trying to get knocked up...sorry, this is not that kind of blog. I'm talking about fitness here, people. Gettin' in shape!

My plan: 30 straight days of Jillian Michaels' "30-day Shred" DVD (not trying to plug any products here - it's literally the only workout DVD I own, and I'm still foggy on how it came to be in my possession) - every day, rain or shine, sore or not, happy or sad. Mostly sad, I'm sure. Jillian is one mean bitch. She's clearly a sadist.

Today was Day One.

Day One is always the hardest. I lacked motivation from the start; rolling out of that flannel-sheeted and down-comfortered bed was torture. Even the dog hid under the covers. Sammy's never been one for exercise or early rising. The Hubs is out of town and the blissful, snore-free quiet held me down until 9:30, an hour and a half after my alarm went off.

I slugged down to the kitchen and then came the decisions: coffee before workout? (Answer: no. It sucks your hydration and gives you a headache. Lesson learned.) Do I have to take the dog out first? (Answer: yes. Or he will bother the mess out of you during your workout.) Should I answer the phone if my parents call? (Answer: decidedly not. The reasons defy number.)

Then I couldn't find my handweights. Then I needed a glass of water after all that coffee. Then I wanted to vacuum the floor before I got down to do the abs part of the workout. I could have come up with a zillion reasons NOT to do my workout, not the least of which being I REALLY DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT. But you know what?

I did it.

That's right - I DID IT!

And you know what? It felt great. It felt like I had done my homework for the day. I was scot-free to do whatever the hell else I wanted! So I took Sammy for a proper walk. And then I vacuumed the rest of the floor.

One down, 29 to go.